Dysfunctional Backgrounds

 

If I have come to Jesus, is there a way out of a dysfunctional background?  Or do I have to live with all the havoc my family created in my life?

I want to be sure I understand what you are asking. Are you asking whether dysfunction in your family’s past or in your ancestry has to affect you and your family today? In that case, the answer is that Jesus has defeated sin and its hold over everyone who comes to him. That is a simple answer, but in practical life, your responses and your habits had their beginnings in the things you grew up with. Those things have to change if they are still present. That is where the church can help. Believers help each other learn and grow. Small groups or mentors can help believers see where their interactions or behaviors can be hurting them. Change happens intentionally, when, through prayer and thought, one deliberately changes behavior. Often more than behaviors have to change. Other changes include establishing strong boundaries over what you will and won’t allow from others, how you will spend your time, where you will live and visit, conversations you will and won’t have, and so on. It may be helpful to have a Christian counselor (there are some fees, usually affordable), or a mentor (friendship based, no fee). Larger churches are often able to provide these services. You might also read “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend, which is available in Christian bookstores or online.

Don’t give up hope. Geneology doesn’t have to determine our present or our future. Many of the greatest servants of God in the bible had dubious pasts themselves, or came from dysfunctional families. In fact, you don’t have to look very far to find dysfunction in any family.   But Jesus and His Holy Spirit are stronger than any hurt, habit or history.