Posts Tagged ‘how to have good relationships’


March 9, 2016

Don’t quarrel with anyone.  Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible.  Romans 12

How is it possible to get along in this world without a quarrel?  What causes quarrels anyway?  Either someone insists on things being done their way, which is a quarrel about doing, or the quarrel is about being right, which is a quarrel about believing.  Both come about because both parties are putting themselves before another.

Whenever possible, a loving, humble person lets the other fully state their position, giving them the respect of being heard.  It is helpful to reflect what you believe the other person is saying.  It is also helpful to reflect the feelings being expressed.  When you have done this, you have opened a door of respect to let yourself be heard.  When the disagreement is about doing, often a compromise can be worked out–often coming to a better solution together than if one person simply gave in.  When the disagreement is about belief, hearing another person first should open the door to letting the second person state their beliefs in turn.  If that isn’t about to happen, nothing is to be gained by quarreling.  The second person can simply say  “Lets agree to disagree”, or something like that.  People who cannot listen to another’s beliefs, cannot listen to reason.  If someone didn’t reason their way into their own position, they will never be reasoned out of it, or even be able to acknowledge your right to another point of view.