Characteristics of Love 2

“If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost.  You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.”  I Corinthians 13:

What a beautiful description of love that surpasses human understanding!

Imagine for a moment loving someone who is really difficult to love.  What if my sister were a drug addict, and had caused the family much grief and loss over a long period of time?  Imagine what it would mean to be loyal to her no matter the cost.  It would mean never breaking relationship with her.  It would mean standing beside her even when it puts me behind the defendant’s table in court, on the opposite side of the window in jail, on the losing side of almost every imaginable situation.  If I always stayed loyal, I would stay and not leave.  The world often advises getting out of the situation–leaving for your own good.  Love will stay.

If I always believe in her, I will trust even when my gut tells me not to.  It doesn’t mean to put myself in danger such as allowing her access to my money, my car or my personal information.  But it means I will believe the best about her, and not jump to conclusions that she will in every circumstance revert back to her past.  It means I will to believe she will always do her best, and I begin that believing again and again even when she falls.  People tend to live up to what is expected of them.  I will let her know I believe she can be well and healed and whole today, and I’m expecting that.

Standing my ground defending her means I will risk being made a fool of again and again by continually voicing my belief in her.  In the end, I know there are no alcoholics or addicts in heaven for God has healed them.  I look to God to do that, and when I look at my sister that is who I see–someone who is whole, and healed.  Not an addict.

Do I always live up to these things?  I’m sorry to say I do  not.  I’m not whole and healed myself yet, and I get tired and wrung out sometimes.  There are episodes of failure on her part when I feel I have no patience left–absolutely no reserves.  That is when I have to lean on God and act as though I do have all I need.  For in God I do.

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One Response to “Characteristics of Love 2”

  1. carolineturriff Says:

    You have to choose carefully who you apply this type of very forgiving love to as not all addicts are worthy of it. I was exactly as you describe in this post towards my ex-boyfriend, always loyal, always forgiving always believing the best in him even after he hit me and smashed up the house after a year of escalating violence. He was in recovery from heroin addiction but not from his anger issues. It took a year for me to split up with him after he hit me. And then because I idealized him and was writing a trilogy in which he was the drug dealing “hero” I got caught up in the fantasy of us living happily ever after and actually got back together with him. He didn’t behave well at all but I continued seeing him, caught up in the fantasy. That only ended when he had a baby with someone else and I had a nervous breakdown. I needed to be more critical towards him.

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