Reconciliation

Perhaps you’ve had a huge disagreement with someone over a particular issue, the conversation became emotionally charged, and now you are avoiding each other.  You each have deeply held beliefs from which you can’t back down without sacrificing your integrity.  Yet, you value your relationship.  Perhaps you are family or you have a long history together.  There seems to be no way you can both win.  Or is there?  Perhaps you can seek reconciliation.  Reconciliation means a restoration of peace and a restoration of relationship.  Reconciliation says “I value you and I respect you.  I acknowledge your right to your beliefs though they differ from mine”.  This frees you to be honest.  You are not being passive and seeming to agree to something when you don’t.  You are not playing games in order to restore peace.  You are not trying to manipulate the other person into agreeing with you.  You are not in denial about the other person’s position.

How can you broker a reconciliation?  You can begin by making the first  move.  You can listen to the other person’s position.  You can be gracious by sharing with the other person how much you value them and how much you respect them even though you hold a different point of view.  You can suggest reconciliation with out resolution.  Resolution would require the end of the disagreement and that isn’t likely.  Reconciliation means to give up winning, for the sake of the relationship, which has higher value than proving yourself to be right.  Of course, the other person may not accept reconciliation without resolution.  At that point all you can do is leave the door open.  Its possible they no longer value the relationshjip as much as you do.  You’ve done your best to be generous while maintaining your integrity.  You simply have to move on, and never stop praying.

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