Dysfunctional Families pt. 4

In the continuing saga of my daughter in law Marie’s family reunion, here’s the latest.  As you might remember, Marie had put together plans for a possible family reunion while her son and daughter in law were in town.  Her daughter in law had quite abruptly squashed it by refusing to attend or to allow the children to attend.  This seemed without any good reason.  Then Marie’s son, my grandson, got on the phone with her, and nearly blew her hair into the next county with a tirade accusing Marie of always putting his wife in a “bad place.”  He then told Marie he refused to see her or his dad (my son).  When she asked if he planned to see his siblings, he said “maybe”.  He and his family ended up seeing his siblings at the exact time the original family reunion had been planned…even though his wife (the daughter in law) had said she wouldn’t be available then–the original thing that had stopped the family reunion.  Marie and my son are in shock.  Their son (my grandson) called them back and told them they had never been good parents either to him or to his wife.  They, (and I) are at a loss to explain what brought all this on.

As a somewhat detached outsider, I’ve been thinking about what happened here.  The young couple is under a lot of financial stress at the moment, as well as under the stress of having several young children.  The wife was a professional before staying home with these children, and the husband is unhappy with his job and feeling stuck.  The last time I saw the couple, they were pretty cool toward each other, and my guess is that we have a situation similar to what I’ve seen politically in my long life.

When a country has a lot of instability and it looks like the government might topple, the government might start a war with a neighbor.  That has the effect of focusing the citizenry on their common enemy and off their unhappiness with their own internal state of affairs.  I suspect this couple has focused on a contrived fight with my grandson’s parents to take it off their unhappiness within themselves and their household.  Just a thought.



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