How to Save Marriage and the Nation

The foregoing series of articles shows how marriage, stable families with both a mother and a father, and having children are essential to a healthy nation.  What has to happen so that marriage and the family–and America–can be saved.

1.   As a society, we have to begin to value the family.  Starting with “no fault” divorce, the family has taken all the hits in favor of individual freedom.  We have to begin, as a society, to value the institution of the family as something that benefits every single one of us.  We have to realize that a family and a family line are something worthwhile and worth sacrificing to achieve.   We have to realize that individual freedom doesn’t exist in a vacuum, that freedom comes with responsibility because each of our individual choices affects the society we live in.

2.  We must value children.  We must begin to believe, truly, that children are good for us.  They teach us as much as we teach them.  They grow us and mature us as people.  They become a real asset in our lives as they grow into adulthood.  It must be recognized that our societies tendency to see children as a nuisance and an expense is very, very shortsighted.  In that vein, it would be useful to resurrect the concept of selfishness, which seems to have been forgotten.

3.  We need to value heritage and generational families.  As we value the young, we must also value the old.  As we show love to our parents and grandparents, we teach our children the value of family, of love, faithfulness and care.  It innoculates them to living solely for “self-fulfillment”.  They will never find the love and security of family life in any career or pursuit. Maintaining close relationships within the family offers security to each generation, and is an antidote to all the anxiety, lack of identity and frantic activity of the world outside the family circle.

4.  We need to value domestic life.  Quiet evenings and weekends within the family circle, with time to really talk to each other are to be cherished.  Nights and weekends of frantic activity don’t satisfy the need to just be together and leave children overstimulated and undernourished.  Hopefully, as the price of fuel rises, families will “just stay home”, and find their fun and their joy there.

5.  We need to teach the above values through the schools and the media.  After all, we taught the materialistic, hedonistic, striving  values we have now.  We taught kids to fight for stuff and “success” (whatever that means) and to devalue people and relationships.

6.  We might consider government benefits to make the financial costs of raising children easier, but as has been seen in the Scandinavian countries, generous benefits don’t raise the birthrate very much.

7.  We need to do everything possible to promote stable marriages.  We need to make fatherhood (and motherhood) heroic in the public eye.  We need to keep fathers involved with their children. 

8.  We need to teach kids from the earliest grades how to communicate and how to nurture relationships.  We  need to teach them as much about living together and being a family as we teach them about sex–in fact, we need to teach family living a whole lot more.

9.  We need to get off the “self-fulfillment” bandwagon as a nation and go back to the idealistic days of “doing good”.  We turned “self-fulfillment” into narcissism, and we need to be heroic again.

10.  So far I have made no reference at all to religious belief.  While many have denounced the motives of pro-family advocates as “intolerance” and “religious bigotry”, it is quite plain that pro-family values show a benefit to children and the society.  Religious people believe God invented marriage.  In that case, God knew better than we do, what is good for us.  If God had been silent, the wisest among us should have invented pro-family values ourselves.

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One Response to “How to Save Marriage and the Nation”

  1. jonathan Says:

    absolutely.. it’s so hard to disagree.. 😉

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