Fluid Lifestyles Have Consequences

Fluid lifestyles are those in which there is no long term marriage or intact family.  People go from relationship to relationship, seeking and never finding what they need.  They may have children and drag them through this ever changing, ill defined world where the family composition is constantly changing.  Fluid lifestyles have consequences for society in general, but specifically the consequences are deep for boys, for girls, and for women–in that order.

For at least sixty years, sociologists and juvenile delinquency experts have known that boys do best when they have a stable father in the home.  It takes a dad to socialize a boy into manhood and boys who grow up without a dad are much more prone to seek their male bonding in a gang.  Boys who grow up solely among women are more prone to violence and to abuse women.  The vast majority of the prison population grew up without a dad in the home.  Boys also need a mother.  Boys who grow up without a mother tend to be anxious and depressed.  They have difficulty establishing and maintaining intimate relationships, so they tend either to avoid marriage or fail to stay married.

Girls who grow up without a dad are more inclined to be promiscuous.  Seeking the love of a dad they gravitate toward older males who frequently take advantage of them.  WIth their hearts broken and their sense of self wounded, these girls often begin the trail of fluidity themselves.  Frequently dragging their children along, they go from relationship to relationship seeking something they never find.  As boys are prone to violence, delinquency and gang activity, the girls growing up in fluid lifestyles are prone to personality disorders.  These disorders involve a weak sense of identity, a lostness, and anger that is both inner and outer-directed.  The girls have a history of difficult relationships, and personality disorders are epidemic in a society that has embraced fluid lifestyles.

Women who have lived fluid lives frequently end up alienated from their children, distrustful of others, and facing their later years in poverty.  Indeed the fastest growing segment of those in poverty are single elderly women.  Unable to share a husband’s retirement, never having been able to save or invest as a lifelong single mother, having no life insurance as a widow, and never having jointly owned a home with a husband, they have few financial assets or family ties.  Long term stable marriages generally leave women much better off–ironically, even in widowhood.

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