Children are worth it

The fourth most important thing in life is having children.  I believe its important for everyone to be a parent.  I realize this goes against the politically correct advice to avoid having children if you don’t like them, or if you don’t think you would be a good parent.  Everyone dislikes some other people’s children.  I can promise you its different when its your own children.  If they are your own children you won’t dislike them all the time, only some of the time, and you’ll get over it.  If you don’t think you would be a good parent, thats nonsense.  You can learn to be a good parent if you really want to.  Unless you have an addiction, a psychiatric problem or a hereditary condition, I think you should have children.  Having children will make you a better person.  Now it won’t do that easily.  There will be times when you are sure its making you a worse person.  Thats simply because parenthood will bring out all the selfish, ugly parts of your personality you wouldn’t have otherwise known were there.  Then you get to work on those things, and that will make you a better person, I promise.  Marriage will start you on that track.  At least it will if you stick to your marriage and work on it.  Thats one reason why its best to be married before you have children.  Not only will you have a committed parent to help you in raising your child, but you will have a head start on that process of becoming the person you were meant to be.  In other words, marriage is good practice for parenthood.

Parenthood does a couple other things.  It helps you come full circle with your own parents.  Most young people grow up with critical issues involving their own parents.  In other words they’re critical of a lot of things their parents did.  When you have children, you will understand your own parents a whole lot better.  You might not do everything the same way they did, but you will surely understand them a whole lot better–guaranteed!  Secondly, you will understand God a whole lot better.  Things just happen while parenting your kids that answer such theological questions as:  “Why can’t I understand what God is doing?  How come God isn’t always fair? and How come God sometimes lets bad things happen to me?”  Your kids will probably ask you every question you ever asked God in your life, but now you get to be on the other side of the question.  One of my kids asked me why I had allowed him to have a surgery.  He sure didn’t want it, and it caused him pain.  He even had the audacity to ask me how could I let that happen if I loved him.  I’d asked God the same things before.

Bill Cosby once said you weren’t fully qualified as a parent till you had two kids, because you had to have two before you could be put in the role of judge over the kids disputes and to try to be fair.  Well, once you get put in the “fair” chair, you will regret accusing God of being unfair.

Well, are their any rewards for having kids?  So far, it seems like its all about character building in you the parent.  Yes, you will have lots of fun moments, lots of laughs, incredibly proud moments, incredibly sweet moments, and the heart melting “I love yous”.  And because raising children, like marriage, is something you’re in for the long haul, some of the rewards come much later when you least expect them.  You get grandchildren, and thats a whole lot of fun!  I can’t even describe the joys of grandparenting to someone who isn’t a grandparent.  And you simply have to go through raising children first to ever get grandchildren.  The most unexpected reward of all is when you see your grandchild do something to their parent, exactly the same way that child did it to you. From the look on your child’s face, you know you have come full circle with your child the same way you came full circle with your parents.  There’s a new understanding with your child.  Now you have in common that you are both parents.  Its very special.

 Nonni

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